Despising God’s Grace

I seldom preach on Jonah. In the lectionary cycle it comes around only once and always shares the day with Jesus calling disciples who drop their nets (and leave Dad in the boat) to follow him. But today I enjoyed delving into the humor of Jonah.
The focus of this moral tale is Jonah’s rage that God is “gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and ready to relent from punishing.” Jonah just cannot abide the values of God. Jonah would rather die than see the Ninevites forgiven. Jonah would simply not believe that the Ninevites – those foreigners – those brutal Assyrians — could really repent.
As I look at our religious landscape, and particularly at the conservative brand of Christianity that yells loudest in this day and time, I see a sad association with Jonah. Far often ‘Christians’ despise God’ grace. We rage at the very idea of God ‘relenting to punish’. (Unless, of course, we are talking about ourselves!) We may think we are responding to God’s call. The problem is that we have not chosen to understand and embrace who God is!. Then when God …. well, turns out to be God, and brings even those we despise to GodSelf, we call it evil. Very often we deal with that by running to a kind of church that will agree with and prop us up in our desire for condemnation, hatred, and revenge.
If we read the Gospels and we come to know the person of Jesus the Christ, we find God’s grace and mercy, slowness to anger, and abounding love embodied in Jesus. May we respond to God’s call in our lives with a growing understand that our God is a graceful God who intends that everyone be redeemed.

Critical Presence

Tags

Christian Hospital Mungeli, critical presence, Family Village Farm, Global Ministries, India

In late October and early November of this past fall, I was in India on a Global Ministries People to People Pilgrimage.  My  friend and colleague Frank and I co-led this trip which included 15 of us.  Three of us had been on a trip together two years ago.  On that trip we spent all of our time in southern India, where our home base was Mudiyor Balar Kudumba Grama Pannai, known in English as Family Village Farm, the home of almost 200 orphaned and semi-orphaned children, homeless young women and elders.  From there we ventured to visit the Shieffelin Research Institute for Leprosy at Kirigiri, and Shanthigramam, a haven for elders who have been cured of leprosy but still have no place of welcome home.

This year we spent time in the south with these and other Global Mission partners; then we traveled some thousand miles north to spend time in Mungeli at Christian Hospital and the Rambo English School.  We even got in a safari at the Kanna Tiger Reserve.

There were clearly life-transforming relationships, encounters, and experiences throughout — as there were before.  But this time is different.  This time the Global Ministries philosophy of ‘critical presence’ is still stirring in me in ways I have yet to fully understand.  There were people in our contingent who were nurses, medics, teachers who planned and filled critical roles in health screenings, who guest taught in nursing school classes, who led music.  But all of us, whether or not we had those particular skills, were simply open to being present, learning from our mission partners, and caring in the best ways we could.

Yes, I had the humbling privilege of preaching in chapel while at Christian Hospital in Mungeli, but the most meaningful moments for me were those holding the hands of women in surgery and in childbirth.  Though I did not speak Hindi and they did not speak English,  I will never forget the feeling of looking into their eyes and feeling the grip of their hands.  I will never forget simply holding the clawed hands of women and men who have been scarred by leprosy.  I will never forget standing in the wards at Kirigiri with those being treated for leprosy.  I will never forget simply being with the children and the young women and the older women and men at Family Village Farm.

In these weeks since our return, I have first had to adapt to being back.  The truth is that I did not want to come back.  I want to be in India.  I could very easily spend significant time at Family Village Farm, or at Christian Hospital in Mungeli.   But the most significant realization has to do with critical presence.  We talk about critical presence as a philosophy in Global Ministries; yet I am coming to believe that critical presence must be the heart of my ministry no matter where I am.  Now I need to discern what that means for me — in congregational ministry, in presence with seminary students, in the community, and yes, in mission local and global.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wandering in and out

I clearly have an on/off relationship with blogging; mostly off in recent years.  I appreciate reading the reflections of others in my areas of interest, but creating the time and giving the energy myself is quite another thing. So I’m tinkering with it again.  (Last time I said I would write, I was a no-show, so I’ll just say ‘tinkering’)  Perhaps if I just drop in for a paragraph or so, I’ll find my path.  I’ve decided it cannot be forced.

What do our calendars say?

Tags

Calendars, Organizing, Planning

Having lost my appointment calendar this week, I knew I needed to pick up a new one.  I was on my way to the gym in the late afternoon and just ran in an office supply store.  I imagined a 5 minute stop to grab a new calendar.  I was there for over an hour and I am still wondering what exactly happened.

I first picked up a tiny little calender just like the one I’d lost; one of those pocket sized calendars that the Pension Fund of the Christian Church (DOC) sends us every year.  (Of course the ones at the office supply do not have all the church-specific information that ours have.)  Then I reached to compare it to one just a little larger, and soon I was looking at all the calendars.  There were the Daily ones with at least a whole page for each day divided into time slots.  They included room for notes and priorities for the day.    Then there were the Weekly calendars,  often with a week laid out across two facing pages.  Perhaps there would be a column down the right side with space for  notes related to the week.  Then there were the Monthly calendars, with a month spread out across the two facing pages.

The larger the calendar, the more additional pages it contained.  Some are blank or lined for notes.  There are Time Zone maps,  lists of 800 numbers for hotel chains, rental car companies, airlines.  There were measurement and equivalency charts in some.  Address and Phone Number pages in many.  Mileage and Travel Expense record charts.  Some were more geared toward Family schedules, with school and children’s activities helps in the back.  Others were oriented toward business people with interest rate charts.    The appearance and feel of the pages differed from calendar to calendar:  Some were bold and stark.  Others had a more subdued appearance.  Some were plain and others had flowers or some background design.

There were some underlying assumptions and perspectives in the design of each calendar.  One that always leaps out at me is the placement of Sunday.  I, personally, want Sunday to be placed as the first day of the week; but more calendars than not had Monday as the first day of the week.  In this case, very often, Sunday was a smaller block at the end of the week; sometimes even sharing a space with Saturday. Sunday was hardly there.

All of this dither about the design of these calendars seems silly; except that I spent enough time with them, to realize that I had different emotional and even physical reactions to different calendars.  A few observations:

The ‘daily’ calendars with lines for each time slot raised my stress level.  I felt anxious just looking at all those hours to be filled in with activities and expectations.

I also felt overwhelmed with spaces that were overly defined.  For instance there was a calender with the daily space divided into hourly sections and a shaded section that ran through the middle of each day saying “Remember to …”  I just knew I could not face that every day!  Made me nervous just to look at it!

I also responded to the font used and the boldness of the print.  Some felt sharp and harsh, whereas others met me more gently.

So I wonder … why, when there is so much in the world needing our attention, am I spending so much time thinking about a calendar?   God knows there are more important things to be done.   I suppose it could be because life feels so out of control and overwhelming:  we can’t fix Haiti,  people are out of jobs and are falling deeper into poverty every day,  and people who are completely out of touch with reality are trying to block health care reform.  That’s enough to make me crazy!

So my thought for the moment is this:

I do need a calendar to try to give myself some sense of order so that I can do what I can do in this world.

I don’t want my calendar to stress me out;  I’m capable of plenty of stress all on my own!

I don’t want to look at a day as a series of hours that must be filled, with every hour claimed by someone or something beyond me.

I still need Sunday to be the first day of the week.

I need to look at a day in the context of a week, and a week in the context of a month.  It gives me a sense of the whole.

I don’t want my calendar to scream at me; I just want it to be there.

I don’t need it to be fancy, but a little style and beauty isn’t a bad thing.

I want it to include space that is open and flexible for notes — notes about anything I want, not topics prescribed by my calendar.

So … I purchased one that is bigger than the one I lost.  This way I have enough space for each day, even though I chose a Monthly calendar (that ‘day in the context of week, and week in context of month’ thing that I’m feeling).  There are plenty of open note pages for each month and another group of open note pages at the back.  The font is gentle and the print is in a dark grey rather than a bold black.  Oh and I really like this:  at the top of each page the month and year are written, such as:   February/ Two Thousand Ten.  That’s nice.

God must chuckle at us and our calendars!

The thing about blogging…

The thing about blogging is that sometime I do … and sometime I don’t!  And when I don’t, it tends to be for months at a time.  I used to feel guilty about that.  As my nieces would say “Fail”.  But I’ve come to a new place.  When it serves a purpose for me and others, it is good.  When it is not, it simply is not necessary.  Ahhhh, that feels good.  So perhaps I’m starting again.

Walk tenderly with each other

Tags

Compton Heights Christian Church, Religion

There are times when the challenges of life seem to crowd in around upon us.  In recent weeks, our family, for instance has cared for one we love through her knee replacement surgery, then within days we have cared for each other in the death of a family member in a tragic auto accident.  As a pastor, I’ve come back home to be with a church family through a surgery, and then have cared for another in the tragic death of a dear pet.  Members of the congregation have shared concerns for their friends and family members who are ill or grieving.

At the same time, we hear the joys and delights of new parents, and grandparents.  We celebrate the voices of children in worship and the beauty of a child with autism running forward during worship; drawn to the vibrant colors she so loves.  We find peace and comfort in music.

We meet to share reflections from vibrant congregational small group meetings, and to set priorities for the church’s ministry in this time.

All to say that life is multi-dimensional.  We could never imagine all that is going on in the lives of those we encounter each day.  We feel anger at someone in traffic and we have no idea what that person is facing.  We snap at a telemarketer, forgetting that this is a person just like ourselves who may be worried about his or her child, or struggling with chronic pain.

I am reminded in these days that we need to approach each and every encounter in a spirit of prayerful care.  Let us be tender with each other.  Let us treat one another with love.

Amazing Grace – William Wilberforce

Tags

Compton Heights Christian Church

This past Friday night, a group of us watched the film “Amazing Grace” which is the story of William Wilberforce, his faith, and the fight he led for the abolition of slavery in England.  Wilberforce was pulled between the call to the religous life and the call to use his gifts and passion in the political process to abolish slavery.  Ultimately his choice was grounded in his deep faith.  God’s call on his life resulted in years of persistent, painful work in the face of the horrors of slavery.  Bill after bill failed in parliament.  Yet Wilberforce,  mentally and emotionally tortured by the horrors of slavery could do no other than to continue to fight.

Indeed, the the context of the story is the abolition of slavery; but the focus is the life of mature faith.

In discussion following the movie, we explored what sustained Wilberforce and what sustains us when the work is hard and the journey is long and we see defeat again and again.  Several sustaining influences were named:

the community that called him out, worked with him, and encouraged him along the way

Pitt, who needed Wilberforce (as Wilberforce needed Pitt)

the woman who became his spouse — who called him to talk about his deepest passion even when he said he could not because the pain was too great

the willingness of Wilberforce to pick up the witness begun by John Newton, to hear his confession, and to make it his own

the deep knowledge that God had found him — which as he stated “was terribly inconvenient.”

This is a film of passion, humor, and maturing faith.

I recommend going to the Amazing Grace website where pastors may order a copy of the film (free) for group use and teaching.  The Faith study guide is very helpful whether you are viewing and discussing the film in one sitting, or using clips for discussion.

The Soloist – Mental Illness

We saw the film The Soloist today.  As one who serves an inner city congregation and has contact with men and women who are mentally ill and who live on the streets, I found this portrayal to hold such deep truth.  So many men and women who are mentally ill live on the streets. They are first and foremost individuals, people with hearts, and histories, and the need for friends.  We are clear that our mental health system has abandoned so many.  Yet, the answers are not clear.  The issues and behaviors are complex, to say the least, and cannot be romanticized.  Those with extreme untreated schizophrenia live in a world that most of us cannot understand.  Very often we respond in fear, and in self protection.  I understand why:  not because they are violent (they seldom are) or are a threat to us, but because we are at a loss and do not know how to relate with care, while keeping appropriate boundaries for ourselves and for the one who is ill.   That requires a level of work and commitment that most of us are not ready to give.   The one who is mentally ill, very often does not function within expected and accepted  social boundaries.

In The Soloist, Nathanial and other homeless, mentally ill people in the community have needs and passions rooted in their life experiences – just as we all do.  Theirs are just muddled in a mind that is jumbled; that at least I don’t understand.  Nathanial’s ways of speech and expression are so familiar.  I confess that there have been times when I have heard this apparently nonsensical mixture of words, phrases and images and I have written that person off.  I have forgotten that she or he is someone trying to make sense of her/his world, trying to express a concern or a need.  Perhaps my care and respect for her as person is what I can give at that moment. All too often, it is not that those who are mentally ill and homeless do not have families; but that those who loved them have worn out, given up, reached the point of not knowing what to do.  Worn down by their behaviors, their families have backed away out of a need to care for themselves and others in the family.

The Soloist, though affirming the need to care for the individual as he is, leaves us with the difficult question of how we as communities best care for those living with mental illness.  Yes, we need to offer friendship without the need to “fix” the person.  On the other hand, how can we offer protection and care and, yes, helpful treatment when possible.  The need to respect the individuality and rights of the person cannot mean that we stop searching for ways to improve the life conditions of those who are ill.

Urban Way of the Cross Walk

Tags

Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), Compton Heights Christian Church

The Maundy Thursday Tenebrae and Communion is over and now we sleep until Good Friday.  I always like our Good Friday Way of the Cross Walk.  We started the walk several years ago and it has grown, now including seven congregations of five denominations — Disciples of Christ, Episcopal, Mennonite, Presbyterian and United Church of Christ.

The walk will begin in the sanctuary of our DOC congregation and conclude at one of the Presbyterian congregations.  The walk usually includes people of all ages, including babies in strollers, and elders. One year a 15 year-old boy skateboarded most of the way.  Tomorrow it will likely be raining; even then a hardy smaller group will walk.

The Way is casual and involves everyone in leadership.  Each person has a copy of the 14 Stations we have created, with readings, reflections,  prayers, and songs.  As we walk between stations, the leader simply asks different people to read or lead prayer at the next station.

Ours is an inner-city neighborhood.  We create a different route through the streets and identify different stations each year.  Over time the stations have included such places as:  local markets, a fire station, a clinic serving Vietnamese immigrants, an alley where a young girl was murdered, nursing homes, boarded-up abandoned buildings,  mental health facilities, a coffee house welcoming those in the LGBT community, schools,  etc.   At each place, we make the connection between Jesus ministry and the path toward his crucifixion and our own ministry and the cost of discipleship.

Tomorrow our stops will include the telephone company, an area of small businesses, a nursing home, the Missouri School for the Blind, a residence for adults living with mental illness, a struggling residential area, a school that is being closed,   a building, now for sale, that housed a program for troubled youth, but had to move because the neighborhood residents did not want the program near them, a Center for Early Learning that supports both children and families, and a new neighborhood bakery and art center, a park, and an Ecumenical Food Pantry and Urban Ministry center.

As we create the route each year, and then walk it in prayer and reflection with others in our community, it is an opportunity unlike any other  to really see our neighborhood.  We see what is going well and we see the challenges.

Church Attendance

Tags

Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), Religion

This was a very unusual Sunday morning for me.  I awoke to discover that I have ‘pink eye’ and, after a conversation with a nurse in the congregation, concluded that it was the contagious kind.  The good news was that I was not preaching today; our student associate was scheduled to preach.  So at the advice of the nurse in the congregation, I did not go share my germs with the good folks at church.

Seldom am I at away from the congregation on a Sunday morning, and when I am, it is usually because I am out of town or sick and not leaving the house.  On this particular morning, I went to the pharmacy to pick up drops for my eyes.  On the drive to the pharmacy, I was certainly aware that traffic was much lighter than on a weekday or a Saturday.  I very quickly jumped to the ‘everybody’s at home- so few people go to church’ train of thought.  Those thoughts are certainly based in some fact; however I noticed something else.  So many people in cars I passed were dressed as if they just might be going to church.  (I wonder at myself even as I make that statement,  because folks in our congregation do not particularly ‘dress up’ for worship — so why would I make an assumption about anyone based on what they are wearing?!)

Still as I went into the drug store, I had several encounters with people who were picking something up and did appear to be going to church.  At the checkout, when I started to walk away without my change, a couple behind me laughed and commented to me about my being particular generous. “After all,” the man said, “it is Sunday!”  When he said that I wondered if they assumed that I was one of those who does not participate in church, and they were very kindly reminding me of the significance of this day. I appreciated the fact that he said what he did.  It was a fun, non-threatening way to remind me of the day.

I realized that we make a number of assumptions.  I was making assumptions about church attendance this morning based on how people were dressed.  I make assumptions when I see the cars in store parking lots — that those folks are not going to church.  I make the assumption that if someone is not in church on a Sunday morning, that they are not in church at all.  It might be that they attend church on Saturday, or on Sunday afternoon.  It might be that they are sick and picking up something at the pharmacy.

Hmmm.  Nothing of great depth here – just hmmm.  We are an assumption making people!